love is a disease ~MINERVA

[SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE]

Severus had been called in for a meeting with Dumbledore, Dumbledore asking how Lily was doing, and what he had told her already. Leaving out the personal things that happened with Lily, he kept Dumbledore informed, despite the Ministry saying that he wasn't supposed to discuss her with anyone. Dumbledore already knew, and so, it was allowed. He had told Dumbledore about how he informed her about her death, Voldemort's defeat, and his return. Dumbledore had nodded and spoke very little. He took in all of his information before he told Severus that Lily would need to be protected, because once Voldemort found out, she would be in trouble. It wasn't like Severus knew that already. There was a twinkle in Dumbledore's eye that made him believe there was something going on inside Dumbledore's mind that he was keeping from him. Not worrying about it, as there was information withheld from him all the time, just like all the other Order members, he was dismissed, and with a swish of his robes, he was out of the Headmaster's Office.

Severus headed down the stairs, cursing the inability to apparate while in Hogwarts, while loving it because it meant no one could sneak up on him that way here. He headed down the steps, thinking about Lily and how he would go about things. It was something he was not used to at all. It had been years since he felt so conflicted between logical reasoning and going with his heart. He had nearly never gone with his heart even then, though it was a lot more common then than now. His mind was in a frenzy, contradicting itself, thinking of things that he couldn't control. It got worse as he walked down the steps, reaching the ground floor finally.

Severus stopped and tried to regain his composure. Don't tell him he was going through some kind of withdrawals. No, it was probably because of some sort of weakness because he wasn't used to such feelings that he was feeling because of Lily. Just thinking about her made him a little weak in the knees. Severus held onto the rail on the entrance hall's stairs, for support and closed his eyes to regain his composure. He opened his eyes again, and let go of the rail, before he stood on the stair, until he felt that he could move again, banishing all thoughts of Lily from his mind, before he stepped once more towards the exit of Hogwarts, normally, as if he wasn't feeling the effects of being with Lily again after all this time.

[MINERVA ENYA MCGONAGALL]

Minerva was enjoying a stroll around the castle grounds. As it was summer there were no children causing scenes or disturbances and Minerva was a bit saddened that there were no children. Movement caught her eye. It was summer. Who in Merlin's Beard would be here at the time of the year? Upon closer look, Minerva saw it was Severus. What was he doing here? Curious, Minerva approached the Potions professor.

"Good afternoon, Severus. May I ask as to what your doing here?" Minerva had a better excuse than he did. She didn't have any home away from the school, preferring to stay within the school boundaries at all times. While Severus was a professor there really wasn't anything to keep him at the school during the summer break. Minerva tensed. Was he planning on hurting Dumbledore? No how silly. Severus was with the Order, but... was he really? He had been in Slytherin as a student and most, if not all, Slytherins could not be trusted.

One hand on her wand in necessary, Minerva waited for Severus's response. She might not know why he was there, but Minerva was awful suspicious about the whole thing. Rarely did any professor come onto Hogwarts grounds during summer break. The rare few who did either to get a job, lived there year round, or had a meeting with the headmaster. As the first two did not apply to Severus it meant he had a meeting with Dumbledore... but why?

[SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE]

Severus looked towards the professor who had greeted him with so much love in her tone and choice of words. Of course, Severus had known very well he was not trusted by anyone besides Dumbledore completely, and those who blindly trusted those Dumbledore trusted. He and McGonagall were not the friendliest of colleagues, but they could get along if they really tried, and he would most definitely try. It wasn't as if he wasn't used to her suspicious nature, as he had dealt with it ever since he joined the staff.

"I was here for a meet, Minerva," Severus responded, "Nothing of too great importance. If he has yet to tell you of this information, then I am obligated not to tell you." Severus had nearly teased her with this, given the fact the two had been like rivals each other, since they were head of houses of two rival houses, the two which had always seemed to clash the most. However, he did respect her, and the advice she could offer, and so he thought of a situation she might be able to help him on.

"Minerva, I was wondering..." Severus said slowly and deliberately, before he paused for a second, reconsidering how he would approach such a situation, "Since you are here, I thought I could ask you how you would deal with someone you hadn't seen in a long time, who is attracted to you." That sounded not well put together, and could make it sound awkward, but he wanted to have advice and with Dumbledore, he would know who he was talking about. Either way, he put himself in Lily's shoes when he asked the question, so it didn't seem as though he was the one who was attracted to the one who didn't like him in that way.

[MINERVA ENYA MCGONAGALL]

The question caught Minerva off guard. Severus in love with someone? Or had someone love him? The aging woman pondered the question a bit. "All I can say is just to be a friend, to start off with. If the situation is awkward then I wouldn't suggest rushing in blindly. If things look better after that then I would suggest taking it a step farther, but don't push. It could crumble the trust that is building." Minerva tilted her head, trying to think of what else to say. Knowing Severus, if she didn't choose the right words he might get offensive, but Minerva was definitely trying.

Normally she was consoling girls over love interests, but SEVERUS?! The aging woman was really at a loss as to what to say next. With a determined look she said, "All I can say is take things slowly. Do things that would make everyone happy and see what happens. As I said pushing would just crumble anything that was starting to appear." Minerva looked at the Potions Master with a guarded look. He was definitely someone to be weary of. Minerva thought she had him figured out, but this question was definitely not something she would have ever expected him to say.

Minerva hoped she has responded well. While Severus was trusted completely by Albus, she didn't fully trust him, but she wasn't going to attack him publicly either. And when one thought things were all figured out he comes out with something that you didn't know about him. The woman looked Severus in the eye, "Whatever happens I hope it works out, whatever it is." She wasn't going to pry. He obviously didn't want her to know what woman he was talking about. It suited her fine, but he had asked for her advice and she gave it the best she could.

[SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE]

Severus pondered her advice for a moment, trying to think it over. It was good advice for him, however, he didn’t know if he could keep things as slow as she was suggesting. He felt like a fool for even coming to her for this; she wouldn’t be able to help him out with this. It was true that he was so very in love with Lily Pott- no Evans. However, he couldn’t let anyone know that. Without knowing much about him truly, Minerva wouldn’t be able to help him. But he was so confused right now, and without being able to resolve these feelings, someone was going to notice his weakness at this point, and take advantage of it. At least if he were in a meeting with Voldemort, he knew he would be able to control himself, given what was at stake around that man. It was almost as if the danger Voldemort helped him control himself much easier.

“However, Minerva, I do not feel the same, as she,” Severus explained further, “We were once great friends, but we went our separate ways, and now that we have seen each other again, she…” He paused to reconsider what he was saying, trying to be as careful as possible. “Has said she cannot stop thinking about me.” As long as he kept the cover that he was the one in Lily’s obvious position, minus the fact she did not know what he was thinking. He didn’t want to seem like the one with such a weakness, being in love with someone who didn’t love him. He was there once before, and Voldemort had tried to flush out that weakness of his, and managed to do it as well, despite the fact that Severus always loved Lily.

“I shouldn’t have asked you. I am sorry to be a nuisance,” Severus said tempted to walk away. He couldn’t make her think that he was weak person, for not knowing what to do in such a position. He felt like an idiot for needing to ask, and so, he wanted to walk away, but he felt that Minerva was a smart woman, and perhaps could help him defeat such a weakness.

[MINERVA ENYA MCGONAGALL]

"Severus.... don't break her heart. If you do not return her feelings break it to her. Be honest." Minerva's lips were in a tight straight line, however her eyes showed compassion and pity. "No one likes being led on and if they find out later that someone never returned their feelings there would be anger and bitterness." Minerva kept her hands at her sides, even though she wanted to comfort her associate.

Minerva had been in a situation like this when she was younger, before Severus was born actually. She had loved a Muggle, but as time went on she realized that she did not want to conceal her magic around him so she broke off the engagement with him and later married a wizard who had worked at the Ministry. Their marriage had been a wonderful one, but neither had any children, now Minerva was kind of regretting the decision. Minerva hoped that her advice would please Severus.

[SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE]

It was true that he would prefer if Lily were to just tell him that she wasn't interested, instead of just teasing him without her even knowing. Perhaps that was the problem. She didn't know about his feelings for her, and therefore did not even know that she was teasing him so much. But if he were to tell her, then she would find him creepy, as he was old enough to be her father, despite being born the same year, and to her they had just gone their separate ways, and apparently he had changed a lot to her, while Severus did not see too much change in himself other than the side of the war he was in and more experience in life, if one could say that his life was being lived to the fullest. Some could argue he wasn't, but that was because they didn't know his motivation. Pretty much everyone did not know it.

Oh what she said was true. The fact that Lily had not returned his feelings over the years had created such resentment and bitterness, but he had turned that feeling into something he could use when teaching, and punishing his students, to keep order, as well as display such bitterness around the Death Eaters, and play it off as hatred for the Order and Dumbledore. He had survived so long with the knowledge that Lily did not love him back, and loved the one he hated the most. Yet, he still loved Lily even after all of that, knowing that it was he who had betrayed her, and not the other way around. And so, the terrible feeling had become his punishment, to live without her, see Potter once he came by, protect the boy who has James's face as best as he could.

"I see..." Severus answered slowly looking away from Minerva, before he shook off this unsure feeling, deciding that he could probably figuring anything else he had to ask later. "Perhaps soon we will found out where our missing people have gone." He had decided to change the subject to the Order, and the missing people that had gone missing, causing them to need to reorganize now. He wasn't in a hurry, though he wasn't so sure if he should stick around with Minerva right now.